One of the best things in life is to be able to be organized. One of the ways of achieving that in your own house is to purchase closet organizers. They are basically furniture accessories that may be as small as a shoe box, but that make a very big difference in the appearance and overall organization of your closet. The majority of closet organizers though come equipped to serve and host almost every ingredient of a closet, even bathroom closets. They have spaces for placing all the way from fancy shoes to small items such as silk handkerchiefs.
Those that have not encountered peace within their closet, should definitely seek closet organizers to make their lives easier. Nowadays, people have less time for chores and home time, therefore, having your closet organized saves time, and time means money nowadays. Others may just want to purchase closet organizers to help them think clearly. The psychology and psychiatry literature has shown that it is common for people to seek mental clarity through home organization. It has been shown to lower anxiety, help with concentration and even improve their quality of life through improved interpersonal skills. Sometimes, small details have a great impact in people’s life such as closet organizers.
It has been six months since I left the corporate world - and there are some things I will always miss. Like saying good morning to colleagues on my way to the office where I worked every day. Or getting caught in the excitement as we prepared for another big meeting or presentation.
I now realize what a huge transition this was, moving from a corporate headquarters with hundreds of employees to a small home office of one. Though I would never trade in my current life, with its freedom and independence, I lived in that other world for 31 years…
… And I still feel the pangs of letting go.
At different points in our lives we all experience the difficulty of letting go - not only physically but with our hearts and minds. We may need to do this with our relationships, careers or sometimes the place we call home.
Even destructive relationships can be hard to walk away from. Author Casey Clair, in Still Single, speaks of the emptiness of her five-year affair with a married man and “the hours of self-doubt and unhappiness” that plagued her. She writes: “It all coalesced into a wound that even I couldn’t ignore.” It was the pain that finally forced her to leave him.
We may also have to face the loss of our health or abilities through illness or an accident. When change is thrust upon us, it is often more taxing than when it’s our decision. Either way letting go is never quick or easy.
No matter whom or what YOU need to let go of in your life, here are ways to get through the process.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
Ironically it is your own resistance that causes you the most pain. The more you resist giving in to emotion, the harder it becomes to get through this transition. Stoicism does not lend you strength. It is more helpful to re-live the good moments of the relationship or situation you must leave behind and acknowledge what it has given you. Then let the tears come.
Share Your Experience
You may need to talk about the changes in your life. This is the time to turn to supportive friends or family members. Or even to strangers who understand what you’re going through.
Faye, a violinist and writer who suffered the loss of her parents followed by that of her beloved cat, says, “The one thing that’s made any letting go easier is finding people who have gone through exactly the same experience.”
It may also be reassuring to read about others who have been at the same crossroads - where the past is still so close you can touch it, and the future too dim and vague to offer much comfort.
A couple of times in her life, though, Faye experienced losses that the people around her could not relate to. “At the bottom level,” she says, “we face letting go alone, in the night. It’s really about hope.”
Learn to Accept
Children grow up and leave home; relationships evolve and people move on. This is life. As put by actor William B. Davis: “It struck me while I was sitting here; everything changes but the sea.”
There is a season to everything, and the timing of change is usually not within our control.
Looking back, you will likely realize that you also had no say when that particular relationship or situation began. C.A. Dowler is a career and business mentor. In talking about her process of letting go, she points out: “As I had no control over when and how that wonderful thing came into my life, I have no right to now hold on to it when it’s ready to go.”
There IS a gap in your life. What you feel is the absence of what you had before. Yet it is only through acceptance that you can let in the new, whether it’s another person or set of circumstances.
Embrace the New
When a toddler reaches for something different, she can easily drop the thing she was holding. Releasing is something we are able to do naturally, but as we grow older we learn to hang on tight. Part of the reason is our longing for the familiar and our fear of the unknown. We don’t know what lies around the next corner, or if we can ever again find the happiness we see ourselves losing.
It takes courage to really let go. You have to trust that what is now coming into your life is what you most need. Then take a deep breath, and let yourself turn another page.
Thelma Mariano, life coach and author, is dedicated to bringing clarity and direction to people’s lives. See her on-line coaching programs, articles and column at http://www.u-unlimited.ca.
Some experiences you never forget. In some of them there is great learning. Many years ago I had such an experience that remains with me to this day. It shows up in so many areas of my life. To begin with I like to perform. I was a trial lawyer for 30 years and have been a musician since I was seven. Most people would say I am comfortable in front of people. But even now, whenever I’m in front of people, there is an inner conversation going on that I do not want to have. It is always a variation of “can I do it” or “will it be good enough.” This experience occurred when I participated in a weekend workshop sponsored by the Actors Institute which was designed to increase one’s ability to give better presentations. The participants included actors, musicians, comedians, lawyers and politicians. After a long weekend of exercises designed to “stretch” us we were required to give our presentation. We then critiqued our own and each others performance. Without exception, our critique of our own presentation was much harsher than the groups. The instructor commented that if we had to hire ourselves we would never get a job!
We are so hard on ourselves. The truth is, in the process of trying to be perfect, we often focus on our imperfections and sometimes that is all we see. Because of this fear of being imperfect, we procrastinate and agonize over seemingly easy tasks. My wife Annie reminded me of a story that illustrates this point.
The master lived quite a distance from the stream. Every day his servant, the water bearer, would walk from his master’s house to the stream with two large pots, each hung on opposite ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the walk, while the other pot had a crack in it and arrived only half full. This went on for a full two years and the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, but the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfections and of the fact that it was only able to accomplish half of what it had been made to do. Finally the cracked pot summoned up enough courage to have its own conversation with the water bearer.
It went something like this. ” I am ashamed and I want to apologize to you for I have let you down. Because of my flaws you have had to do twice as much work.” But the water bearer would have nothing of this conversation. “Did you notice the beautiful wild flowers along the path and did you notice that these beautiful flowers were only on your side of the path?” That’s because I have always known of your flaws and I took advantage of them and planted flower seeds on your side of the path and every day you watered them. And these beautiful flowers that you have watered everyday grace the master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”
Each of us has our own unique flaws and in our own way we are all cracked pots. We all know we have imperfections and to varying degrees we have shame around them. But what we need to remember is that with all our imperfections we create a lot of beauty and a lot of good in the world. Perhaps what real courage is all about is not letting our fears and imperfections stop us. We keep on going. Imagine experiencing your imperfections in a different way– as a gift or unique opportunity. Identify one imperfection that keeps coming up for you and discover what gift is hidden in that imperfection. Where is the opportunity?
Let me know what you discover. I love receiving your many responses and feedback and if you have other stories to share let me know about them. Feel free to pass on this letter to the friends in your circle and let them know about the advantages of being on the journey.
Mark
About The Author
Mark Susnow, formerly a trial attorney for 30 years, is a coach, speaker, musician, and group facilitator who motivates and empowers others to live the life they want and deserve. He lives in Marin County, and on the island of Kauai, with his wife and family. Be sure to visit his website at www.inspirepossibility.com.
In common terminology, relaxation means that we leave ourselves free of tension. Relaxing mind may mean that the mind is not under stress or active. In today’s lifestyle, this looks difficult. Isn’t it?
Now a days, most of us believe to be being under stress during most of the week and relax only on the weekends. This is considered the common way of life. Is this the right way of living? Is living a relaxed life all the time not our right? Let us reclaim it.
Bad stress -
If you ask anyone that why is he/she under stress most of the week, what answer do you expect to get? I have so much work to do, deadlines to meet, tasks to be completed, prepare for the new launch etc. Don’t you think that something like this will be the response?
Let us discuss why most of us are stressed all the time.
At some time in our life, while we are chasing the dreams we lose our habit of sitting back and reflecting. We begin giving auto responses. If we are held up in a traffic jam, our response is - either to worry about the work ahead, or blame the system or some such negative thought. Not many of us think - All right. If the traffic is not moving, let me relax, listen to some good music, or go back to some childhood memories, remember good friends, let me make the best use of the time to relax and enjoy life. Not many of us respond in this way. We respond in stressed way whenever we come across any similar situation. This habit is taking a big toll on our quality of life.
Stress - A way of life.
We have taken stress as a way of life. Very few of us think about why they are trying to work at such a hectic pace and if ultimately, we are going to leave this world with a lot of incomplete work, why not at least work in a relaxed way? What is the use of working so much , if we kill all the joy. In search of a better tomorrow, we kill the present. Isn’t it?
Stressed work environment, stressed family life, no time to just walk around doing nothing but watch the nature…Why? It is as if we want to achieve most in the shortest possible time and therefore have no time to relax Working non-stop all the week is a way of life for a large majority. The increase in cardiac attacks, depression etc, are all the results of this stressed lifestyle. When we get stressed, we look around for the latest stress busters, latest therapies, etc. to counter the stress.
And then by the time the week ends, we again go out somewhere to relax. Sometimes holidays also tire, don’t they?
Why not lead a relaxed life all through the week?
Why not work in a relaxed frame of mind? Why get stressed?
Reflection about our own life is very essential if we want to reclaim our right to live peacefully. Will it help, if we bring some beautiful scenes of nature on our computers? Will it help, if we find time to watch a butterfly flying on our screens? The beauty of a colorful flower. Can it make us little relaxed?
If your answer is yes, download screensavers and find time to watch them whenever you find time while working. Look at them, wonder about the beauty of nature, think of their perfection and just relax.