Letters on Life#3

Some experiences you never forget. In some of them there is great learning. Many years ago I had such an experience that remains with me to this day. It shows up in so many areas of my life. To begin with I like to perform. I was a trial lawyer for 30 years and have been a musician since I was seven. Most people would say I am comfortable in front of people. But even now, whenever I’m in front of people, there is an inner conversation going on that I do not want to have. It is always a variation of “can I do it” or “will it be good enough.” This experience occurred when I participated in a weekend workshop sponsored by the Actors Institute which was designed to increase one’s ability to give better presentations. The participants included actors, musicians, comedians, lawyers and politicians. After a long weekend of exercises designed to “stretch” us we were required to give our presentation. We then critiqued our own and each others performance. Without exception, our critique of our own presentation was much harsher than the groups. The instructor commented that if we had to hire ourselves we would never get a job!

We are so hard on ourselves. The truth is, in the process of trying to be perfect, we often focus on our imperfections and sometimes that is all we see. Because of this fear of being imperfect, we procrastinate and agonize over seemingly easy tasks. My wife Annie reminded me of a story that illustrates this point.

The master lived quite a distance from the stream. Every day his servant, the water bearer, would walk from his master’s house to the stream with two large pots, each hung on opposite ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the walk, while the other pot had a crack in it and arrived only half full. This went on for a full two years and the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, but the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfections and of the fact that it was only able to accomplish half of what it had been made to do. Finally the cracked pot summoned up enough courage to have its own conversation with the water bearer.

It went something like this. ” I am ashamed and I want to apologize to you for I have let you down. Because of my flaws you have had to do twice as much work.” But the water bearer would have nothing of this conversation. “Did you notice the beautiful wild flowers along the path and did you notice that these beautiful flowers were only on your side of the path?” That’s because I have always known of your flaws and I took advantage of them and planted flower seeds on your side of the path and every day you watered them. And these beautiful flowers that you have watered everyday grace the master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”

Each of us has our own unique flaws and in our own way we are all cracked pots. We all know we have imperfections and to varying degrees we have shame around them. But what we need to remember is that with all our imperfections we create a lot of beauty and a lot of good in the world. Perhaps what real courage is all about is not letting our fears and imperfections stop us. We keep on going. Imagine experiencing your imperfections in a different way– as a gift or unique opportunity. Identify one imperfection that keeps coming up for you and discover what gift is hidden in that imperfection. Where is the opportunity?

Let me know what you discover. I love receiving your many responses and feedback and if you have other stories to share let me know about them. Feel free to pass on this letter to the friends in your circle and let them know about the advantages of being on the journey.

Mark

About The Author

Mark Susnow, formerly a trial attorney for 30 years, is a coach, speaker, musician, and group facilitator who motivates and empowers others to live the life they want and deserve. He lives in Marin County, and on the island of Kauai, with his wife and family. Be sure to visit his website at www.inspirepossibility.com.

What is relaxation?

In common terminology, relaxation means that we leave ourselves free of tension. Relaxing mind may mean that the mind is not under stress or active. In today’s lifestyle, this looks difficult. Isn’t it?
Now a days, most of us believe to be being under stress during most of the week and relax only on the weekends. This is considered the common way of life. Is this the right way of living? Is living a relaxed life all the time not our right? Let us reclaim it.

Bad stress -

If you ask anyone that why is he/she under stress most of the week, what answer do you expect to get? I have so much work to do, deadlines to meet, tasks to be completed, prepare for the new launch etc. Don’t you think that something like this will be the response?

Let us discuss why most of us are stressed all the time.
At some time in our life, while we are chasing the dreams we lose our habit of sitting back and reflecting. We begin giving auto responses. If we are held up in a traffic jam, our response is - either to worry about the work ahead, or blame the system or some such negative thought. Not many of us think - All right. If the traffic is not moving, let me relax, listen to some good music, or go back to some childhood memories, remember good friends, let me make the best use of the time to relax and enjoy life. Not many of us respond in this way. We respond in stressed way whenever we come across any similar situation. This habit is taking a big toll on our quality of life.

Stress - A way of life.

We have taken stress as a way of life. Very few of us think about why they are trying to work at such a hectic pace and if ultimately, we are going to leave this world with a lot of incomplete work, why not at least work in a relaxed way? What is the use of working so much , if we kill all the joy. In search of a better tomorrow, we kill the present. Isn’t it?

Stressed work environment, stressed family life, no time to just walk around doing nothing but watch the nature…Why? It is as if we want to achieve most in the shortest possible time and therefore have no time to relax Working non-stop all the week is a way of life for a large majority. The increase in cardiac attacks, depression etc, are all the results of this stressed lifestyle. When we get stressed, we look around for the latest stress busters, latest therapies, etc. to counter the stress.

And then by the time the week ends, we again go out somewhere to relax. Sometimes holidays also tire, don’t they?

Why not lead a relaxed life all through the week?
Why not work in a relaxed frame of mind? Why get stressed?
Reflection about our own life is very essential if we want to reclaim our right to live peacefully. Will it help, if we bring some beautiful scenes of nature on our computers? Will it help, if we find time to watch a butterfly flying on our screens? The beauty of a colorful flower. Can it make us little relaxed?
If your answer is yes, download screensavers and find time to watch them whenever you find time while working. Look at them, wonder about the beauty of nature, think of their perfection and just relax.

CD Mohatta is currently a dedicated content writer for screensavers, wallpapers and ecards in all the websites of ScreeneNetwork.com. Some of them are EcardUniverse.com and InspirationEcards.com.